If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
