I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you never un-have a 4some
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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