you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
