Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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