in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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