they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
