I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
