is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
