if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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