guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
