Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
