I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
