Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
