She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
