grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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