we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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