Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
