sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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