for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Is it penis luge time yet?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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