come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
