I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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