I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
please come you make the beer taste better
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
