I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
