I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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