I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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