More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
