she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
