we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
