Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
