Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
