i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We have started to decorate penises.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
