I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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