we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
