Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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