Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
