im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
