Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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