pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
