I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
