Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
