where does the pee come out of this thing
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
