Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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