We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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