Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
