she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize