As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
