No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
