She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize