I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
