just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
