if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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