I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Actions speak louder than pants.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
