i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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