Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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