party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
