The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize