So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
zippers are such a cool invention
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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